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::shengie::
gender
male
age
21
dob
7-11, it's a store and more :p
horoscope
scorpio, tough one eh?
hometown
teck whye, singapore
location
johns hopkins, baltimore, maryland
occupation
student
yes yes
good music, good food, sea breeze, happy times with family and friends, cool weather,
no no
backstabbers, dogs that bark for nothing, regulars, hypocrites, misbehaving children, humid weather
sports i play
badminton, swim, gym, cycling, kayaking
listens to
jay chou, david tao, chinese and english pop, chinese orchestral, rock, r&b, world, inspirational, classical artistes
msn
wujassng@hotmail.com
icq 44783954
aim
aidanwu84
::Quote::
"You know, you only have half a heart, so even if you do something whole-heartedly, it's still half-hearted."
Me to Alex one day on 151
::calendar::
29.05.06 IBN Attachment
06.08.06 Concert@SCH
11.08.06 HCJC Booth
19.08.06 JHU BBQ
04.09.06 Back to JHU
::frens::
01s79
Old Blog
Cal girl
Dr. Condom
Mapleleafgirl
Qi Yue
Shuhui
Huien
Wattie-sen-sen
Lenard
Haofatt
Gavin
Janan
Huzz the man!
Thiam Shh...
Su *Chang!*
The Study Rasu
Gay Chou
Chay Beng
Alex
Jia Ming
Zhengyong
Lipting
Weiqiang
Kaixin
Run Bin
Zheng Ru
Tu Anh
::navigator::
My Photos
Spring Break 2006
get around Singapore!
currency converter
time zone converter
friendster
world lingo translator
internet SMS:
Singtel
M1
Starhub
::frontiers::
Physics Web
Nanotechnology Research News
National (US) Nanotechnology Initiative News
Nanoapex
Chemical and Engineering News Nanofocus
New Scientist
Nature
Scientific American
::credits::
design
catchastar.blogspot.com
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29.9.04
Blogging in the wee hours has been a relatively good way of seeking refuge from loneliness. Plus, tonight there's a dog outside at the main door for company. But, it's its last night here.. they're calling in the SPCA tomorrow.
Just like people, dogs get spoilt too. In its short stay here, it has grown from eating dog pellets, to leftovers from dinner, to solid beef courtesy of some kind soul in the unit. Alas, it's a one-way progression: it won't eat the dog pellets I fed it anymore.
Observation: Someone said the dog will come in even if the main gates were locked. This just means there's a hole in the fence somewhere, and that the daily security-check system has all but totally failed, as expected.
__________________
A man is made up of the people in his life.
I don't know who said this, or whether it holds any truth, but I am feeling much better today because of people called friends. Went down to the southern part of Singapore today, to meet st, aw and yl for lunch. Saw so many familiar faces that I figured (rightly) that almost the whole jc population I know merely shifted to Kent Ridge. But, some people, I was really very glad to see, i.e. my two juniors Ningyi and Kaihong, whom I haven't seen in ages. Two well-adjusted medical students who seem as earnest as they were in sec. one. Haha. Somehow, time just doesn't change the way certain things are.
Saw Shermin, juniors Alvin, Kq, and Nat, Freddy whom I don't really know, Lee Cheng, camp buddies Laili and Andy, and even my cousin Huien. Met a couple of yl's hangout gang, a couple of 83s.
Observation: The less you see someone, the more they talk about the same thing, my impending 'migration' for further studies. Sometimes, it's as if these two years are just a transient phase, a 'time interval' that has to be waited out, an insignificant period in my life. However, I see these two years differently. It is much more than that.
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Of course, feeling better does not mean I am feeling on top of the world either. That's why this post hasn't ended yet. Short of being abstract, I was on the brink of being ecstatic when my 'pen-pal' studying in Melbourne finally wrote back after 5 days, and I poured out everything that happened into a condensed version.
Just now, I spent more than one hour talking to a buddy of mine. Nothing specific, just a whole load of anecdotes and musings of what makes a happy life. But it was good.
Hey, instant mashed potato doesn't taste so bad after all.
Lenard told me this girl in his friendster list is interested in me. Haha, turned out she's a cutesy 15yo chinese all the way from Jakarta. Am I destined to be related somehow or another to Megawati and her dependents? :P
Tomorrow, it's back to the usual routine. Probably going to the gym. A semblance of normality?
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AidanWu was here on 2:13 am
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27.9.04
When you don't blog what you feel for too long, you end up not knowing where and how to begin.
Was looking forward to a quiet slack half-day afternoon at home, but it all went down the drain.
I hate confrontations. Especially those that dig out your innermost secrets, and dissect them in the wrong way; that is, interpret them wrongly.
I wish I could tell the truth. But how can I, when people just won't accept it as being part of one's nature. Why must it always be bad company, or a lack of self-discipline, or in general, an acquired bad habit? Why can't it be seen as what it is - an intrinsic part of me, to hell with genetic predisposition as a lame excuse, it IS the fact.
People discover truths all the time, and many a time, when the truth is contrary to their beliefs, moral perspective, preconceived notions or even mere personal preferences, what do they do? They reject it as false.
When the truth recurs, in the form of repeated similar events or actions, they realise that rejecting the truth doesn't work anymore, and then they seek to find explanations, explanations that are congruent with their beliefs, moral perspective, preconceived notions and personal preferences. I've always acknowledged this as part of human nature, there's this stubbornness in each of us that always won't give in to something that does not conform to our ideas. But, it's precisely this that irks me now. And one thing I neglected to mention: the 'explanations' are usually wrong. And I really hate the fact that they have to come up with explanations that do not work. I don't do something repeatedly just because I am addicted to it, what's wrong with really liking and wanting it? It's not something simple and straightforward that I can publicise, so I have to be deliberately vague. Which sucks. One day I am setting up a new blog, co-existing with this one.
I don't only hate such wrong explanations...I am hurt by them, especially if it's by someone very close to me. You call me abnormal. I can understand how you feel, just that.. you've gotten it all wrong. And I don't know how to tell you. IF only my current state is a result of these proposed 'external factors' and 'curiosity'. Then I know that I could easily change. No, not when it's something as innate as the want to survive, in typical Darwin interpretation. It's hard to be human.
And the third thing people do, which does not happen all the time, is to force a change in the person who possesses the 'undesirable' trait. I know this will happen to me if I were still in school, but no longer. I am a young adult, I deemed myself responsible for my own actions ever since I turned 18.
Life is such a beautiful thing, but sometimes it's so hard to lead a good life. Sometimes, you just can't.
'Maybe it's just a phase', that's what people always say. This is not going to be just a phase, it's going to be a life-long struggle. I just wish for the people around me to continue being happy, whatever the future may hold. Some people will definitely be hurt along the way, I wish, way in advance, that they will recover and continue to live life, happily if possible, if not, at least peacefully.
Social stigmas
People always associate social stigmas as a 'conservative' notion, to me it's actually a relative thing. In a society of puritans, having 'open' relationships (more than one partner simultaneously) constitutes a social stigma; the puritans will probably avoid you, and tell their children to avoid you. In a society of the young and chic, living the glamorous high life and all, being a nerd probably constitutes a social stigma; a don may tell another to avoid the nerd.
It's hard being the one bearing the stigma.
____________
Relationships
People often fall out of a broken relationship, but nevertheless they seek another companion. Some people say that dogs give unconditional love to their owners, no matter how temporary the pet-owner relationship is. People in stable relationships should count their blessings, and actively seek to maintain it. There're many others who have trouble with relationships, either sustaining a good one, or finding one.
Or, even having one due to circumstances.
____________
Dear readers: When I put a line breaker, it's meant to act as one. So with all due respect to you, don't jump to conclusions.
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AidanWu was here on 2:29 pm
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26.9.04
Just recovered from a bout of flu and dry cough..
My dad has a tumour originating from the salivary gland..may have to go for an operation. He's waiting to get a second opinion though. Sigh. At least it is benign for now.
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AidanWu was here on 8:21 pm
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17.9.04
The most hilarious thingy happened in the office today. How often is it that you get to be openly sialan in front of your RSM? F rancis was kicking up a fuss about messy cupboards, and that stupid cupboard was labelled as my section's. My section mates don't use that cupboard at all (anyone just uses any cupboard actually, i don't see the need to demarcate lockers), so we went in and made a lot of noise. Then angie was there too, and she didn't help much. So more NSFs came in, and someone complained that F rancis was using Section B's cupboard. So we all pointed fingers at him, and he ended up being told off by angie. LOL. So who gained? Who lost (a cupboard)? Nsfs One - Regulars Luv.
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AidanWu was here on 9:52 am
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16.9.04
I'm feeling damn heaty recently, durian puff and curry puff from bosses just now, bdae cake yesterday and the day before, and more crap on other days.
Open Arms by Journey
Jiu Meng (Old Dreams sic) by Peng Jia Hui
Jiang Nan by Lin Jun Jie
Bu Xiang Rang Ni Zhi Dao (Don't Wanna Let You Know) by Zhou Hui
Say It Isn't So by Gareth Gates
I could listen to these over and over again.
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AidanWu was here on 3:29 pm
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Got Jay Chou's latest album as a b'dae present for my bro on Tue. He seemed happy.
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AidanWu was here on 3:21 pm
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Sometimes, I marvel at how I am able to detach myself, physically and mentally, from a group of merry-makers, while seeming to be, physically and mentally (to anyone else), a part of them.
I feel that nowadays I am more able to just let go, even things that mean much to me, once before or not.
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AidanWu was here on 3:14 pm
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11.9.04
Why is it so hard to be really happy?
I only know that, being unable to be truly happy from within, I always wish for the people around me to be happy. Especially people close to my heart..like my family, close friends and colleagues.
Recently there's this nagging feeling that something's not quite right at home, in more ways than one. One aspect of it is unsolvable as of yet, but it rearing its ugly side is all but inevitable. Sigh.....
Why is it so hard to be who we really are?
You know, I really hate to be alone in the wee hours of duties. Even the deejays ain't around anymore..
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AidanWu was here on 3:31 am
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8.9.04
Bored.
Last Tuesday went back to chn high and hwachong to see teachers. Happened to be duty off that's why so free.. nowadays when i go back it's kinda different. Instead of being surprised, my sec 4 maths teacher was almost waiting for me to arrive in the teachers' lounge. I can't say I am not pleased in the sense that, well, at least they remember me.
Sometimes the only way to make people forget you is to lose their favour.
Days have been passing slowly. But it's good 'cos I get to crap with Lawrence almost everyday in his few remaining days. Sounds morbid. haha whatever.
The new guys have started duty, that's why.
Last week my section got a new guy, Eugene, who happens to be mark sim's friend. But he was just transferred to another section this morning.
Sat practice was alright. Met some of them at Balmoral before that.
Yesterday jimmy treated us to Joo Chiat black pepper crab. It was damn solid la! And it was really quite worth it too.
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AidanWu was here on 9:43 am
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::Note::
You can click on the 'Stop' button on your browser to turn off the background music accompanying this blog.
::taggy::
::current faves::
Jay Chou - Nocturne, Fa Ru Xue, Qi Li Xiang
Guang Liang - Shao Nian
Liang Jing Ru - Yong Qi
Gigi Leung - Dan Xiao Gui
Lin Jun Jie - Yi Qian Nian Yi Hou
Stephanie Sun - Ting Jian, Wo De Ai, Tong Lei
Li Sheng Jie - Yuan Zou Gao Fei
Liu Zhong Yi - Ji Ju Xie
Yanni - Almost a Whisper
::boredom killers::
latest craze:
Adventure Quest
previous crazes:
Fortress Game
Telescope Game
Meganic Wars
Text Twist
YetiSports Flamingo Drive - high score 3755
trustables:
Throw paper into the dustbin - high score 5025
Miniclip
Mofunzone
Addicting Games
Utopia
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